Choosing Joy

Joy: /joi/ 1.Noun. A feeling of great pleasure or happiness. 2. Verb. Rejoice.

I’ll be the first to admit, with complete vulnerability and conviction, that “joy” was the last thing on my mind a few weeks ago. But to say that that this process causes reflection would be the understatement of 2016. And 2016 has been no joke. And as a result of that reflection, my soul is filled with joy.

1. I have seen Jesus in ways I’ve never seen before. But I have to look. It’s hard. And sometimes I’m scraping the bottom of the bucket for this, but I see my Creator in new ways almost daily–a good day at work, laughter at my house, sweet notes in the mail, watching my parents live out their vows, and so many other ways. My heart is refilled constantly, and that’s my Jesus.
2. I have a true example of love. My mom selflessly loves my dad and serves him.My dad selflessly loves my mom and fills her up. And that is refreshing to see in the midst of 2016 relationship society.
3. I know now, that I was strategically placed in this family. We are all different. We fight. We still wrestle each other on the floor. We still drive my mom insane. And we are really, really loud. But we are close. And I have had the privilege of watching each one of us grow in our faith, our prayer life, our ability to be vulnerable, and our ability to walk in peace. Day in, and day out, on good days and on bad days. We build each other up, and that’s because we are a {really big, often dysfunctional} team that was intentionally placed together.
4. I’m being asked to live intentionally. Life is insane. Absolutely out of control. But because of this, I am required to be intentional about everything I do. Intentional in my personal life, in my relationships, in my actions, and in my relationship with the Lord. Because when everything is so crazy, the little things matter and add up to produce joy and sanity.
5. I’m uncomfortable. But that’s where I’m called to be. I’m called to be bold for Christ, I’m called to choose God over society, I’m called to serve, I’m called to love, I’m called to be selfless, I’m called to walk in grace, and I’m called to respond to life’s struggles with faith and peace. It’s difficult, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s exhausting. And I fail at doing these things almost daily because they go against everything the world tells us, but this is the standard to which I am called.

Everything is different. Every day is different. And I don’t pretend to understand. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind, other times I feel confident in that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. But a the end of the day, we rejoice {Joy. verb. 2. Rejoice.} in our sufferings, knowing that our God is in control. If God is the ocean, and my brain is the size of a grapefruit, how dare I even think for one second that I would be able to comprehend what He is doing. Because I serve a God that is bigger than me, bigger than my perception of how I think life should look, and way way bigger than cancer.

Treatments are going well. Doctors say dad is strong, so they can “really hit him hard with the drugs.” My dad’s sense of humor is unwavering. After this trip, treatments will be every other week. And he gets to fly down on Wednesday mornings, and fly back after treatment on Thursday. No more long trips! {For now!}. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we are all looking forward to summer, when school is out, baseball is in full swing, schedules slow down, and we can all spend more than 24 hours all together.

I say this every time, but we are SO thankful for everyone’s sweet words, notes, encouragement, phone calls, visits, meals, and so many other sweet gestures. It seems like as soon as our hearts get heavy, we receive love and encouragement that refill our spirits. My sister and I would love to pray for YOU, pray with you, and we live for real, meaningful conversation.

Have a great week!

–Hannah

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Well, to say a lot has happened since the last time Hannah and I posted would be a lie but to say that a lot hasn’t happened would be a lie too. In the grand scheme of things, this month compared to the last two has been a walk in the park just with planning and adjusting and figuring things out.

Being very honest with you all, I am taken back as I see how my life has changed due to my Dad’s circumstances and and am so convicted for the way that I was prior to it. That sounds silly, I know. You see, life as we all know it is a very precious thing but when everything is going well you don’t think about it like that. I didn’t dare to think that one day something bad would ever happen to my family. From the day my parents told me my dad was sick, my life was radically turned upside down, but in some ways, I am thankful for the changes that have come as a result.

1. Our family is closer than it has ever been. Not in milage of course, if we were measuring like that it may be the farthest we’ve all been apart. Regardless, my siblings and I were all bonded before but now it is on a whole new level. I didn’t know it was possible, but my parents are closer than ever before. My aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other relatives are all stepping up to do whatever they can. It’s a really beautiful thing.

2. I appreciate more. Real, good, wholesome, friends. A great home cooked meal. Sitting on the couch with my dog. A warm cup of coffee. Monical’s Pizza. Letters and notes. Below surface level conversations. A good book. Being able to be home with my family!

3. I see the power of prayer working so vividly. My entire life I have prayed and I have had prayers answered but for the first time in my life I can actively see the Holy Spirit working within my family.

4. My faith is stronger than ever before and continues to grow. I can’t bear things on my own. My dad can’t do this on his own. My mom can’t do it all either although sometimes I think she can (; Luckily, we don’t have to! We have placed our fears and cares with the Ultimate Healer. All things will work out according to His will.

5. My prayer life has radically changed. Prior to my dad’s diagnosis I didn’t take prayer as seriously as I should have. I prayed here and there when I was worried or when someone asked me to pray for them. After seeing what prayer has done for my family, I want to be able to help people in the same way. I look forward to my prayer time each day and would love to pray with or for you!

6. My parents. Obviously. My dad is crazy strong and has an incredible sense of humor and a great perspective on life. He is an example of what a man of God looks like. My mom is indestructible. She is organized, optimistic, encouraging, inspiring and always puts others before herself. These two are warriors, teachers, full of the best advice, and have enough hope, courage, and strength for all of us. The hardest part is knowing that it took Dad getting sick for me to recognize just how fortunate I am to have these things around me.

My parents have been back and forth from Texas since January! They are typically gone for about ten days and home for about seven days. The treatments are going well but they consist of very long days. Some days they arrive as early as 6:30 AM and don’t leave until around 9:00 at night. According to his doctor, Dad’s liver numbers are continuing to be good. In the beginning, he had some minor issues with low white blood cell counts but after a couple of booster shots, he was back to treatment the next week. Normally they enjoy the beautiful Houston weather, but in the past few days it has been storming and pretty nasty out. Hopefully it will clear up in the next day or so.

As for side effects, Dad loses quite a bit of energy from the treatments. Recently, he lost most (not the grey ones hahahahahahaha) of his hair. He said, “If I knew I was this handsome bald I would have shaved my head a long time ago.” Told ya he has good humor. In addition, he sometimes is feeling a little sick to his stomach and has some pretty dry skin. I haven’t heard him complain about any of it though. He is a trooper.

Because of all of this, our lives have completely changed in just about every aspect. We are adjusting and we are learning each and every day. I believe they will continue to be like this for a little while. Sometimes things are painful or scary or unknown but everyday is a new day.

How you can pray:

• Hope travels with my parents most of the time. While Dad is in treatment, she is not allowed in that wing of the hospital because she is not old enough. Pray for her patience.
• Since my parents don’t get to be home a lot, pray for that while they are home that they have time to rest and recuperate.
• Travels ­ whether Mom and Dad are flying or driving, safety.
• Each of us kids as we are in school. All five of us are in school whether that be as students, teachers, or aids!
• Side effects!

I would like to continue to express thanks to those who are encouraging all of us through texting, sending notes, and praying for us. We are SO thankful.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

 

–Sarah